There are three main types of archetypal “bad” profiles on online dating sites. So many people inadvertently self-sabotage themselves by not putting their best foot forward. So let’s review the most common mistakes and how to fix them.
The “Direct” Profile
This is the one that just tells it like it is. There is no fluff, no creativity, no…. emotion.
“I’m an observer, and I’m really, really smart. I’m addicted to cars and food and movies. Guitar is my thing, I like the piano too but I have less experience in that. I am actively into stocks buying and selling, I’m good with money, I like to be well versed in financial stuff.”
You’ll notice that there while there are details about them, it seems like they were just spouting information as it came to them.
Try and pick one or two things and go into a little more detail. “I love guitar because it gives me time to relax and get out of my head.”
The “Needy” Profile
The Needy Profile is one that doesn’t so much talk about who you are, but what you need. It can come across as desperate and, well, needy.
“I need a man that can work hard and play hard. I’m looking for fellow athletes that respect their bodies and don’t pollute them with drugs and alcohol. You must make at least $100k as I make more than that and need you to be able to keep up!”
Not only is she throwing out a lot of disqualifiers, she sounds negative and needy.
There will be plenty of time to talk about your needs in the future, just don’t do it right up front. “I enjoy working hard and playing hard. I love athletics and thus don’t want to hurt my body with bad food and chemicals.”
The “Confused” Profile
There is usually something that doesn’t quite jive with this type of profile. Either they contradict themselves or you have to re-read a sentence to try and figure out what they are talking about.
“Born and raised in NYC. Graduated with a law major in high school, some arista, honor roll and math team. Always done well in school, even told by junior high school has a college reading level. Have some college and 2 computer certifications now working on my career.”
There are a few things going one here that make it confusing. The first is a lack of correct grammar. There also seems to be conflicting information. And finally, I had to reread it two or three times to make sure I understood it. People are doing this quickly and if you make them take more time than necessary, they will just “swipe left.”
Have someone you trust read it and give you feedback to make it flow better. “I graduated high school with a focus on law and was on the honor roll and the math team.”
Hunt Ethridge is a Hoboken-based dating consultant and a fashion writer. Currently, he is the Senior Dating Coach at New York Dating Coach (www.newyorkdatingcoach.com).