If you are a young guy, be prepared to ask questions – not only of yourself but of the women you meet or want to date.
Knowing what to say and how to connect are both important traits. Therefore, the main thing you want to know, or the question to ask is –
What are the best ways to ask a girl out on a date?
Before you delve into this all-important topic, you need to understand a little bit about a girl’s body language. Two questions you, undoubtedly, have on your mind are:
Does she like me?
How can I tell that she likes me enough to go out with me?
Therefore, let’s look, first, at what she may be saying, based on her body language alone. Read the following pointers to learn more about how to gauge her level of interest. Use these cues to ask a girl out who you may know from work, from school, or who you met IRL from a dating site.
1. Look at how she stands when she talks to you.
When a girl likes you, she faces your direction. She turns her torso toward you and talks confidently.
Watch for a closed body position, as this indicates nervousness or shyness. When she crosses her arms or legs, she may be creating a barrier to show a lack of interest.
However, she may still cross her legs and still like you. Just look at where she points her feet. If she directs them toward you, that may be a sign she wants to know you better.
With that said, an open stance normally signals confidence and relaxation. If a girl feels comfortable communicating with you, she usually relaxes her arms and will not cross them. Nevertheless, people have different personalities, so you may have to consider more factors.
For example, if she crosses her arms and is outgoing, she usually has less interest than if her arms or legs are crossed and she is shy.
2. Check out the eye contact before you ask a girl out.
A girl who likes you tends to hold her gaze for more seconds or will glance down the moment your eyes meet hers.
Dilated pupils also reveal an interest. If you happen to glance her way and notice that she is staring, that could also mean she has a crush.
3. Be realistic about how she uses body language.
The way you interpret her body language will depend on the context in which it was meant. For instance, if you are talking face-to-face and she touches you lightly on the arm, she may be flirting. However, if she taps your shoulder to tell you that someone is looking for you, she may only be giving you a message.
Also, keep in mind that sometimes you may misinterpret eye contact. If she does not break her gaze while you are having an intense discussion, she may simply be interested in the subject. However, if she gazes at you for a lengthy period without speaking, or if she looks your way but breaks her gaze the minute you look back, she probably likes you.
4. Look at how she touches you during a conversation.
When a girl likes you, she may subtly touch an arm, shoulder, or knee. For example, she may gently touch your arm when you say something humorous and laugh, or accidentally brush your shoulder with hers.
Not all girls though feel comfortable flirting this way. If that is the case, you can’t assume she does not like you. Again, it all depends on her personality. Needless to say, if she tends to be quiet and she lightly touches your arm, that is a good sign. You can break any touch barrier, by lightly touching her arm yourself.
5. Does she reserve random hugs for you?
This behavior can be significant, as a hug demonstrates a person’s affection. Return the hug if you like her too, or softly refuse the hug if you don’t want to give a girl the wrong impression.
6. Does she mirror your movements?
If a girl likes you, she will often mirror some of your behaviors. For example. If you have the habit of running your fingers through your hair and notice she does the same thing, she may like you.
7. Does she touch her hair?
When she runs fingers through her hair or twirls the strands, she could also be flirting. She is either flirting, or she is nervously and subconsciously showing that she is attracted to you.
8. Check out nervous signals.
Besides, twirling the strands of her hair, a girl who likes you may show signs of nervousness, such as touching the neck, collarbone, or the lips. She may even apply lip balm or lipstick in front of you.
9. Does she smile and laugh?
A girl who likes you will feel happy when you talk to her. She may show this by smiling or by laughing at your jokes, even if they are not all that funny. One of the best ways to ask a girl out involves noting this clue.
Confidently ask her if she would like to go out to lunch or dinner when you get his type of response. You might even joke and say that you could eat at Wendy’s. Peter Pan eats there sometimes.
Picking Up on Other Signals
If you want to find the best ways to ask a girl out, you also need to check out the other signals a girl may give who likes you or wants to date you. It may be easier to ask a girl out if you do the following:
1. Pay attention to compliments
A girl who likes you might say “You look athletic? Do you work out?” or “You have a fabulous smile.”
2. Regard her friends’ reactions to you.
If you notice that most of her friends acknowledge you, it probably means that she has talked about you to them.
3. Watch her style.
When a girl likes you, she may go out of her way a little more to impress you. She may dress nicer, for instance, or wear lipstick.
4. Check for good-natured teasing.
When a girl likes you, she will gently tease you about the way you do something or say certain things. For example, she may poke fun at a response you made or lightly kid you about your behavior.
5. See if she makes time to talk to you.
She may set aside extra time to talk to you if she secretly likes you. This may include texting you randomly or speaking to you when she has the chance.
While this is not the only clue that may reveal her level of interest, it should be taken seriously, especially if she flirts when she talks or texts.
6. Ask her for help.
To check how much a girl likes you, ask her for things, like a pen or a stick of gum, and notice her response. She probably likes you if she is eager to comply. However, don’t use this approach too much, as she may think you are just plain lazy if you ask for things all the time.
7. Notice her behavior around others.
If you notice that she is flirting around other people, she may just be naturally flirtatious. However, if she holds her gaze a little longer with you, or softens when teasing you, it may indicate she likes you.
Reviewing the Best Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Setting the Ground Rules
Now that you know the best ways to test a girl’s interest in you, it will be easier to review the best ways to ask a girl out. Before you ask that all-important question, “Would you like to grab some lunch?” or “Can I have your phone number?” you need to set some ground rules.
How to Present Yourself
This will help keep you focused on your goal and better help you exert self-confidence. Follow the rules below, so you can successfully ask a girl out.
1. Avoid Rejection by Maintaining a Good Posture.
If you are fairly confident she likes you, you should have no trouble expressing self-confidence. When asking a girl out, never do the following:
- Slump over or look at the ground
- Cross your arms or legs
To make a good impression, and get to the word, “yes,” you need to:
- Keep your chin up
- Keep your shoulders back and raise your chest
- Gaze forward
Besides standing straight and looking at her attentively, you need to take more instead of less space. Doing so demonstrates that you are comfortable and assertive.
2. Dress with a sense of style.
While you don’t have to wear a tailored suit to ask a girl out, you should be presentable. Dress in a style that reflects your personality – one that is classy yet relaxed. Don’t don a wrinkled tee or wear dirty shoes. Add some polish to your appearance.
3. Engage in eye contact.
If a girl catches your eye who you have never met, shoot some harmless looks toward her. Linger a second before turning your attention to something else. Don’t hold eye contact too long, lest you be considered a creeper. Who knows? She may return the eye contact with a smile? However, don’t confuse kindness with interest.
4. Follow a simple approach.
Remember, women like confident men. Therefore, you don’t have to try too hard to impress her. Simply walk up to her and say, “Hi.” Compliment her on her smile or something she is wearing. Or, you might just say something like this – “Hi! I know this may be a bit random, but I would like to ask for your phone number, if that is okay. I thought you might like to go out to a movie or have dinner when you have some time.”
While the above example covers how to ask a girl out using a brief and direct approach, you might take more time to ask a girl out by starting a conversation. You can use the following steps to get to know her better.
1. Comment about the weather.
You won’t ever go wrong by starting any conversation with a comment about the weather. For example, give her a chance to reply by saying the following: “I hope this rain starts to slow soon, don’t you?”
2. Comment about the surroundings.
If you don’t like the above weather approach, you might comment about the surroundings. For example, if you are sitting in a bar, you might say something like the following – “Wow! It sure is crowded in here tonight, isn’t it?”
3. Find common ground.
You can break the ice more easily if you find some common ground between you. For example, if you work together, you might ask about any projects that she’s managing or working on currently.
4. Talk about pop culture.
Talking about pop culture allows you to learn more about her personal interests, which makes it must easier to ask a girl out on a date. For example, you might say something like the following: “Have you watched the Bing Bang Theory? Who is your favorite character?”
5. Mention an upcoming festival or concert.
Use this conversation starter to build a rapport. Mention an upcoming party or event. By using this approach, you will have, at least, one foot in the door. For instance, you might say something like this – “I’m looking forward to Halloween this year. My friend Joe is planning a costume party. I’m just not sure, right now, what I will wear. Have you planned anything?”
6. Talk about a common friend.
You can draw a personal connection by mentioning a common friend. For example, you might say something like the following – “I heard you know Janice. How do you know each other? I was the best man at her brother John’s wedding.
7. Speak about a shared experience.
Maybe you have discovered that the girl you like grew up in the city you did. If so, you can create a personal link between the two of you using this conversation starter to bond. For example, you might say something like the following – “I heard you grew up in the Bronx. Me too! What was it like for you?”
8. Pose an intriguing question.
You can easily break the ice using this conversation starter. Doing so will give a girl a chance to express herself so you can get to know her better – always a good prelude if you want to ask a girl out on a date.
9. Mention a common interest.
You have discovered conversational gold when you want to ask a girl out who shares an interest you have as well. For instance, if she likes to play tennis, you can ask where she likes to play, and if she has participated in any tournaments. Maybe you both like movies. If so, you can find out what types of movies she prefers and take it from there.
10. Ask a personal question.
If you feel like you are hitting things off, stay positive and ask something a bit more personal, like the following: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” or “Do you have pets?” Make the questions relaxing and fun. Don’t ask anything that would make her feel uncomfortable, such as “What is your biggest fear?”
Ask a Girl Out IRL
It’s only common courtesy to use a bit of small talk to ask a girl out IRL. You just don’t want to walk up and ask a girl out first. Find and gauge common interests and learn what conversation starters work. The whole idea is to see how she responds.
1. Make the appropriate references.
Read the situation and setting to begin any conversation. For example, if you are standing in line for coffee, ask the girl – “What is your favorite coffee drink?”
Make sure what you ask relates to the setting. If she responds, ask her name and introduce yourself. You might ask her, as well, what she does for work. Make everything seem natural, not intrusive.
Again, pay attention to her body language. If you feel like the light is green, ask the girl out to meet for coffee again in a few days. Don’t be afraid of rejection, as it can be a good thing.
You don’t want to pursue a relationship with a girl who really is not a good match for you.
2. Believe in yourself.
Don’t allow one rejection to rock your entire existence. That rejection should not affect your self-worth, nor should you over-analyze it. Believe in yourself and be willing to fail on occasion.
Think of it as part of the journey toward dating success. Be sure of both your actions and words when you review the best ways to ask a girl out.
Women often do not like pick-up lines because they are not genuine. How can you mean what you say when you are merely spouting out some phrases? Where is the conviction? Where is the naturalness?
A woman worth pursuing appreciates honesty. Even when you mean what you say, you may get the cold shoulder from time to time.
3. Don’t worry about it.
If you ask a girl out and she does not find you date-worthy, she isn’t worth dating either.
You can easily find several best ways to ask a girl out if you are confident and attentive. Take note of her and your environment.
For example, get into practice by sitting in a park and writing down what you see and hear – the songs of the birds, the laughter of children at play, and the types of flowers in bloom.
When you do this, you will notice your surroundings better – all which makes starting a conversation that much easier.
Finding the best ways to ask a girl out should not be difficult. Once you start to get in touch with your surroundings, you will also be able to ask a girl out naturally and confidently.