Mustering up the courage to approach someone new can be daunting. It is even more difficult when it’s a cute girl that you’ve wanted to talk to for quite some time, with high hopes that it will lead to a great relationship.

How to Approach a Girl

Fortunately, there are ways in which you can make a better first impression and improve your chances with this special girl.  So, if you want to quash your fear of rejection then read on for our tips to success.

We will look at how to decide when to approach and different ways that you could approach her.

You will soon have the confidence you need and you will know how to approach a girl. But first, you need to read the signals she’s giving off.

1. Signal Spotting

Knowing when to approach someone is often the hardest part of the whole process.

Your timing can make all the difference as to whether you succeed and get yourself a date or are essentially ignored.

Here are some basic Do’s and Don’ts.

  • If the girl of your choice looks relaxed, regardless of whether she is standing or sitting, it could mean the time is right to approach her. People who display body language that is open and friendly are usually more open to having a conversation with someone new. Make sure you are tuned in to her body language and surroundings.
  • If you have exchanged smiles or glances, this can signal that you’d be ok to approach her. This can signal that the girl wants to open a dialogue with you.

Things to Keep in Mind

  • If the girl appears upset, she is not going to want you approaching her, no matter how caring you appear. Of course, this doesn’t mean you cannot step in if she is with someone who is treating her badly!
  • Don’t approach her if she’s distracted or busy with something else. If you interrupt her, she will remember the interruption, not the great guy that’s trying to start a conversation.

2. Check Her Out

Yes, you read me right. You need to check her out before you saunter over. Take a good look. Does she look like she might be your type? Could you imagine yourself having a good time with her?

How to Approach a Girl

At the same time, don’t be creepy about this! You can learn a lot from her without even before talking to her.

3. Don’t Wait Too Long

If you’re wondering if she has noticed you too, chances are, she probably has. This is why you should approach as soon as you can.

If you wait too long, you might come across as a bit of a creep or under-confident. Gather your thoughts, take a deep breath and off you go.

Rejection is scary. But you won’t win the lottery by never buying that ticket.

Life is all about taking chances and rejection, though it is hard, is not life altering or fatal.

4. Sideways Approach

Knowing how to approach a girl can help you on your way to success. Quite often, women have their guard up when in unfamiliar circles or with groups of strangers.

If you approach a girl from the front or from behind her, this can create a sense of intimidation, initiating a fight-or-flight response subconsciously.

I recommend approaching her from the side so that she knows you are heading towards her but is not threatened by your approach. The last thing you want to do is sneak up on her or surprise her.

5. Posture Matters

Make sure that as you approach her you are standing tall. This displays your confidence which makes everything else a whole lot easier.

This will work even if you’re a bag of nerves inside! (And, shhh! You can practice your walk at home, no one will know).

6. Eye Contact

Making eye contact is tricky sometimes. But the very fact that you are trying to approach girls is proof that others including your parents have probably been in the same situation that you are in and they managed to overcome their inhibitions and started a relationship!

So, the first step is to try to gain eye contact. When you do make eye contact, it shows that you are confident which most girls find very attractive.

Eye-contact between two people triggers oxytocin production in the body. Sound familiar? Oxytocin is the known ‘love hormone’!  Eye contact allows two people to create trust between them.

7. ASK YOURSELF: Are You Worth Her Time?

Research shows that when people first meet others they are typically hesitant and judgmental. They seek out answers subconsciously as to whether you are a time waster or whether you can be trusted.

How to Approach a Girl

The quicker you can put her mind at ease, the quicker she will feel more comfortable in your presence.

Let’s have a look at some example openers:

  • Advice: Why not ask her if she can recommend anywhere to eat nearby? Or perhaps if she knows the best gym nearby to join?  Whatever you approach her with, it needs to be something that she and you are both interested in.
  • Be fun: If you’re in a bar, why not start by saying “I have a huge dilemma …. [pause dramatically] I can’t decide to go for a beer or a glass of wine. Which would you go for?” Something light hearted and fun is always a good way to start.
  • Ask a favor: “Please, could you watch my jacket while I go to the restroom?”
  • Tell her she looks familiar: This could lead into the conversation of how you might have met before, allowing her to open up to you and you to her so that you can learn things about each other without risk or fear of rejection.
  • Make your point (be careful with this one!): You don’t want to come across as obnoxious. However, being passionate about something is attractive to many. Stay on safe topics (save the politics and religion for later). Talk about movies or food – anything that’s suitable for the family dinner table is okay here. Speak with a smile so that she knows you’re being friendly rather than obtuse.

8. Don’t Think Too Much About it

Thinking too much about what you’re saying or doing can leave you standing back alone. You want to create a spark with her so that she wants to know what you’re going to do or say next.

You don’t necessarily want to have her fall at your feet (at least not right away!), you just need her to want to continue the conversation.

If you think too much about what you are saying rather than how to approach a girl in the right way, you might end up by yourself again!

9. Make Her Feel at Ease

It goes without saying that she will be reading your body language instantly – it’s just how her brain is programmed. Use body language that will show her you are friendly. Be open, always facing her when possible. Make that all-important eye contact. Keep your hands visible (subconsciously her brain will have noticed if you’re hiding them which could make her feel threatened).

10. Get Her Number

If you’re in the wrong type of place to get into a more-lengthy conversation, say a line in a supermarket, you’re going to want to get her number PDQ.

Not all places you meet someone are conducive to more in-depth conversations with the hope of a number at the end, such as a club or a bar.

How to Approach a Girl

So, in those situations, how do you get her number?

Once she has your attention, tell her that you would like her number so that you can continue the conversation at another time.

Have your phone ready for her to type your number. Once you have it, you should send her a little playful text message: “Hi this is Sam, the super-hot guy from aisle 5!”.

Other Approach Techniques

If you’re finding the whole process stressful then there are other ways that you could approach a girl than the way that we discussed above. But first, it might be a case of managing your own expectations.

Many men shoot themselves right in the foot when figuring out how to approach a girl. They want to talk to a girl but don’t feel like it is quite the right time.

Add that to peer pressure and it’s a perfect recipe for performance anxiety. Most guys have felt this fear.

How to Approach a Girl

However, did you ever think about why you get this approach anxiety? 

For most of us, it stems from the fear of being rejected. No one likes rejection!  So, what could you do? Firstly, do not let others set the expectations.

If you take charge, you will then let yourself think more clearly and can neutralize any feelings of rejection.

1. The ‘Don’t Approach’ Approach

What the …? Yes, there’s another technique of how to approach a girl that you could try. You could try the not approaching tactic.

Pause and set the scene.

Hang fire and let the room warm up before you dive in. Why?

Because if your aim is to go up to as many girls as possible with a reliance on sheer numbers simply to improve your chances of success, all that will happen is that you will speak to loads of girls, but it won’t necessarily result in success.

Hang back for a while and observe. 

Take your time before you make your move. This behavior will act more like a filter, giving you the chance to evaluate the situation and work out who you feel will be worth spending time on.

So,  just take your time and observe before you approach a girl.

2. The Final Countdown

If you still fear rejection, try the counting down approach. Countdown (in your head of course, otherwise you might look like a lunatic) and then approach. One, two, three and go for it!

3. Dive In.

For some guys, thinking about something too much just won’t work. We just talked about doing the final countdown. Well, with this method, there’s no countdown at all.

With this plan, you decide, right before you walk in the bar that you will seek out a girl, head towards her and not stop walking.

How to Approach a Girl

When you get there, start a conversation. It’s one sure-fire way to be victorious. You have approached the girl before you could even think more about it.

4. Bring a Wing-Woman

Not many of us feel comfortable going to bars alone. This is why having someone with you who’s got your back is important.

Think about how having a friend (or close family member) with you who is a woman could be an advantage. After all, who will help you vet another woman better than a woman herself?

Your wing-woman might make you look either in demand or unavailable which could be advantageous too.

But, more importantly, girls that you meet will be able to see that you are a normal, friendly guy as there’s proof that at least one girl does not mind being in your company.

Things to Remember

Not all of these methods will work for everyone. Some people are more nervous than others and this will affect how you approach girls. The thing is, you can experiment.

Decide on a method and hypothesize, then carry it out and evaluate it. Did it work for you? 

If not, try a different way next time. Also, every girl cannot possibly be your soul mate.

It’s important to remember that meeting girls and approaching them can be considered a skill like any other. And practice makes perfect. No, more than that, practice builds confidence!

Final Tips

Steer clear of the ‘friend zone’.

How do you become friends with someone without being either too nice or, at worst, too creepy?

Keep it simple and treat her as if you do not want anything from her. Be friendly. Make eye contact and smile and engage your body language. If you are too intense straight away she will be put off.

Be Fun, Not Lame.

This could be hard. Everyone’s personality is different. Just because you’ve approached a pretty girl doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll enjoy time in her company.

This works both ways too! If you’re not fun, she’ll likely reject you, even if you’re the hottest guy at the bar. Try to be the life and soul of the party, spread good vibes wherever you go.

How to Approach a Girl

She’s dancing with her girlfriends? Strut your moves nearby, or start that Grease duet aimed at her – everyone loves a bit of Danny and Sandy, right?

This works both ways too! If you’re not fun, she’ll likely reject you, even if you’re the hottest guy at the bar. Try to be the life and soul of the party, spread good vibes wherever you go.

She’s dancing with her girlfriends? Strut your moves nearby, or start that Grease duet aimed at her – everyone loves a bit of Danny and Sandy, right?

Don’t ask too many questions.

Okay, so you need to remember you are not interviewing her for the job of being your girlfriend. Firing questions at her will mean that you’re sure to learn a lot about her but a conversation is all about giving and taking.

Ask her a question and listen to her answer. Then share something of your own in comparison that is related to her answer or to the question.

Have back-up conversations.

If the conversation slows and there’s an awkward silence, why not try a “Would you rather…?” style of question.

They are always great ice breakers and given that they’re always tough choices, it can be rather fun (showing that you’re the life and soul of the party as we mentioned above).

There’s always truth or dare as well. Games can help you decide if she’s on your wavelength or too boring for you.

This is one sure-fire way to make approaching girls much less intimidating. It also makes it all the more fun and hilarious too.

Fake it ‘til you make it.

Even if you don’t feel confident, as stated above, practice! If you still don’t feel confident, fake it. You’d be surprised but most people started off by faking it.

It can take a while but eventually that confidence begins to feel natural (science has proven this works!). If you can’t talk the talk, try at least to walk the walk.

How to Approach a Girl

Walking with confidence (as I mentioned up above) will give you that confident air that is attractive to girls. If you make the right approach in appearing confident, then the rest might just follow.

In Conclusion

With the tips mentioned above, we’re sure that you’ll be confident enough to approach that girl in no time.

And if one method doesn’t work for you, try another. We have covered all bases here, so there is definitely a way that will suit even the shyest of men. To sum up, remember these important tips:

  • Look For Signals
  • Walk Tall
  • Make Eye Contact
  • Approach Slowly From The Front
  • Timing Is Critical
  • Body Language Is Open
  • Do It With Ease
  • Exude Confidence

Whichever method you choose, we hope that you find success and not only that, find the woman of your dreams!

Remember, it all starts with looking for cues and making eye contact if possible, then next is. The approach. Try out some of these ways and you’ll soon be well on your way to oozing confidence and getting that girl.