There are some men who always seem to be in a relationship. 

A few days after a breakup, you will see them hanging out with someone new… just like that, seems so easy.

On the other hand, there are men who find it difficult to ask a girl out, and who loathe meeting new women and going through that ticklish introductory phase.

If you are one of the latter, you know how frustrating it can be to find the one. In particularly desperate times, you might find yourself asking the question, is there a secret technique regarding how to find a girlfriend that you don’t know about?

The simple answer is no, there is none. But there are things that you can learn so you can up your chances of finding a good woman who may become your girlfriend and possibly even your partner for life.

How to find a girlfriend infographic

Over the past three decades, the number of single American men has gradually been increasing compared to the number of married American men.

This is according to the Current Population Survey of the U.S. Census. Consequently, what this means is that the competition is getting tighter. So if you don’t want to remain single forever, it’s about time you learned how to find a girlfriend and put yourself ahead of the competition.

Boyfriend Material

Before you set out on your hunt to find a girlfriend, you first need to take a long, hard look at yourself in conjunction with being a good potential boyfriend. 

Are you the best version of you that you can possibly be?

This doesn’t mean that you should give yourself a complete overhaul just to get a girl. It’s important that you be yourself, but you should also play up your strengths. 

You should also like yourself.

Because if you don’t, people will notice and it will be doubly hard to make them like you.

The Dating Game

You’ll be surprised at how attracted women are to confident guys. An average-looking guy with just the right amount of confidence will easily beat a handsome but socially awkward man in the dating game.

Sure, an attractive appearance can easily catch a girl’s eye, but in the long run, looks by themselves won’t be enough.

Confident Man

In a study published by the American Psychological Association and conducted by researchers at the University of Florida, researchers found that a person’s attractiveness to others is largely determined by his self-confidence.

The more confident a guy is, the more attractive he comes across to the girl. A man’s confidence is apparent in the way he talks and acts. If you are naturally shy, this might take a bit of practice but just believe in yourself, and you’ll get there. 

Do take note that there can be a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

Also, you should be very careful never to cross that line. Confidence is sexy, but over-confidence is a downright turn-off. Be confident, but not cocky!

Looking Good!

Wear nice clothes, but this doesn’t mean they have to be expensive. If you look clean and put together, that will catch the attention of the ladies. If you’re like a lot of men, you are clueless when it comes to fashion.

You can search online for some quick and easy tips to perk up your wardrobe. You will be surprised to see that looking good actually takes very little effort. It’s also vital to pay attention to your hygiene.

Just make sure you are fresh, well groomed, and smell nice.

Unpleasant body odor is the best way to repel women. 

In case of emergency, it might be a good idea to carry some mouthwash or deodorant with you in your quest for finding a girlfriend.

Skill Sets

Having something to offer or something that makes you different from other guys is a plus. So if you have a talent like in sports, music, arts, or even cooking or whatever, make sure you recognize it and improve on it.

Man in Flowers With Camera

Trust us, it will be an advantage when it comes to the ladies. Girls like guys who are capable of doing different things. So dig deep and find something that you know or can do.

Don’t ever fake something just to impress girls.

Pretending you can do something that you really can’t will definitely backfire on you sooner rather than later.

Knowing What You Want in a Relationship

You should also figure out what you like in a girl. Make a list of the attributes you prefer, including physical appearances. People often say that idealistically looks are not that important and all that but research has shown otherwise.

In an article published by relationship expert Dr. Madeleine A. Fugere, it shows that there does have to be some level of physical attraction for a relationship to work. So put those physical preferences in your list because they are important.

But of course, do also think about whether you are looking for someone who shares your life philosophies. Or who shares your love for dogs, and such criteria.

Looking for Love

So now that you’ve prepared yourself, the next step on how to find a girlfriend is to put yourself out there and look for that potential match. Easy to say but definitely not that easy to do.

With approximately 70 million single ladies in the country, where do you start looking? Clubs and bars may seem like the obvious answer, and yes, these are great places to find a girl, someone you can hang out with for the night.

But a long-term girlfriend? Yes, still possible, but maybe not very likely. It would be a better idea to look somewhere less random, where at least some of the odds would already be stacked in your favor. Check out the following options.

Where to Meet Women

It’s not like you’re going to these places to stalk unsuspecting females and pounce on the ones you’re interested in. We’re talking about places you normally go to, anyway.

Here are some examples:

  • Grocery store 
  • Park  
  • Bookstore 
  • Coffee shop 

But when you go there, you should be more aware of the people around you.

Always be on the lookout for someone of interest who happens to be going to the same places as you.

Of course, you should still focus on what you’re doing but don’t be too caught up in the items you need to buy or the music playing in your earphones if you want to find a single woman looking for love.

Look around you, be friendly, and smile at people. You never know, one of the ladies shopping in the next aisle might turn out to be your next girlfriend. 

Find Me a Girlfriend 

If you’re having a difficult time finding great single women on your own, then you should ask for a little help from your friends. This sounds too simple and straightforward, but it actually makes a lot of sense.

Your friends know you well, maybe even better than you know yourself., and they would usually have a pretty good idea of what you want in a girl.

So if they know someone that matches your type, they can set you up on a date. You would already have a common interest, and at least one mutual friend.

That’s a good start.

If you have great friends and you trust their judgment, then the blind dates that they set up for you may be promising.

Social Media

If you are not quite ready to try online dating, but you are online a lot of the time, then social media is a good start on how to find a girlfriend. It’s a more discreet method than actually signing up with online dating websites, but could be just as effective.

Man in Suit on Phone

It’s also easy.

Like on Facebook, just send a friend request to someone you’re interested in. If they accept, get a conversation going, and see if it goes somewhere. If they ignore your request, then the search goes on.

Get Involved

Clubs are formed to unite people with a common interest. There are clubs for practically everything – reading, running, gardening, and so on.

Joining these clubs would be an excellent way to meet people who share the same interests as you. A local club would be even better because there’s a good chance you’ll meet women with the same interests and lives in the same area as well.

Plus you will meet regularly so you can get to know each other better. This will also give you time to figure out whether you want to pursue a relationship with her, based on the things you are finding out about her over time.

Online Dating

There are a lot of websites these days specifically for online dating. They’re not that complicated – you would just have to create a profile, and then you’ll get a list of potential matches.

Depending on the specific setup of the site, you might be able to take your pick from the list, or you may have to wait until a female seeker contacts you. In any case, you’ll eventually find women who are a good match, based on the criteria that you have put in your profile.

You might have to try a few different sites to see which one you like best, but here’s a quick list to get you started.

What Women Want

Regardless of where or how you find a potential girlfriend, once you’ve found her and you’re sure you are definitely interested, the next move is to create a spark.

If you’re lucky and the spark is already there, then all you need to do is fan it and make it grow.


Show her what a great potential boyfriend you can be. Pay attention to her. Not too much that you’re all over her all the time, but just enough to show her you genuinely care.

Always listen attentively when she talks, and ask questions about her. This signals that you are genuinely interested in knowing more about her and that you are a good listener. 

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere 

Compliment her sincerely and generously, but don’t sound patronizing.

Give her the kind of compliments that show you are paying attention, such as admiring a new haircut or noticing a blouse that she wore for the first time.

Woman smiling in coffee shop

You should also compliment her on other things besides physical appearances. Tell her what a terrific presentation she made earlier, or that you appreciate her taste in music, or that she has a great laugh.

Females remember small things like that, especially if you say them with sincerity.

Tickling Her Funny Bone

Show her your sense of humor by cracking witty and timely jokes. In an article published in the Psychology of Interpersonal Perception and Relationships, it is explained that sense of humor is indeed one of the most attractive traits that women consider in potential partners.

Even if you are not naturally a comedian, you can still find topics that you can make jokes about. Stay away from sensitive and possibly offensive subjects.

The safest topic you can joke about is yourself.

This shows that you are confident enough to make fun of yourself and that you have a great sense of humor. If you can get her to laugh even at your corny jokes, then you know you’ve scored some points already.

Just don’t go overboard with the self-deprecating humor.

It has its limits.

Asking Her Out

Even after spending quite a lot of time together, chatting online, and sending text messages, she’s still not actually your girlfriend until you make it official.

This is the last stage of how to find a girlfriend.

But before you pop the question, you first need to see if she’s interested in taking the relationship in that direction.

The best way to do this is by asking her out on an official date.

Friend Zone

If you are very shy or nervous about asking her directly, you can try inviting her discreetly.

Like if Coldplay is having a concert and both of you are fans, then you could casually ask if she wants to go. Or if you are both into running, you can invite her to run a 5k race with you.

It can be any activity with a casual invitation, but it has to be just the two of you.

You should be warned, though, this approach can easily be misconstrued as a friendly gesture. This means that there is a high risk that you might be friend-zoned with this method.

Captain Courageous

The opposite approach is to do it bravely and just ask her if she would like to go on a date with you.

If the sparks are there, she will certainly say yes.

But then there’s also a chance she doesn’t feel the same way you do, so you should be prepared for possible rejection when looking for a girlfriend. 

Second Date Ideas

Asking for a second date usually is not as nerve-wracking as asking for a first date, especially if the first date went really well. But there is still the important question of when should you ask her out again.

There are no rules, really.

But in general, you can ask her shortly after the first date has ended if you feel that she likes you. If you are not so sure, you might want to give her a day or two to mull it over before inviting her out again. 

Boyfriend and Girlfriend

After a few dates and a lot of time spent together, it would be easy to assume that you are now boyfriend and girlfriend.

But it’s never a good idea to assume, especially when it comes to relationships. You have to ask the question, pretty much like a mini-proposal, of whether she wants to be your girlfriend.

Couple staring into each other's eyes

The best way of doing this is face to face, during a special date that you have particularly planned for that purpose.

It used to be considered inappropriate to ask such an important question over the phone or anything not face to face. But for many young couples these days, it is perfectly acceptable to say yes or confirm a relationship over the phone or through chat messages.

Even at this point, there is still the risk of rejection, so you have to be prepared.

Even when you think things are going great, maybe a serious relationship is not what she was looking for after all. If that is the case, then you have to be respectful of her decision, and maybe you can continue being good friends.

But if she accepts your proposal, then there you go, you have just solved the mystery of how to find a girlfriend. 

Dating Goals 

The ultimate goal of dating for most people is to meet someone to have a meaningful long-term relationship with.

The dating experience is challenging, but it can also be fun.

You get to meet single women and enjoy their company as you see the latest movies, check out new restaurants, and so on. You also discover new things, not just about them but also about yourself.

Try not to get desperate even when things look bleak. Just enjoy the experience and who knows, you might find a girlfriend sooner than you expected.