Talking to a guy that you like shouldn’t be all that difficult.
After all, you most likely talk to guys everyday. But somehow it’s a completely different thing when it’s a guy that you like. With that particular guy, it’s strange how you suddenly find yourself tongue-tied and unable to think of any topic to talk about.
Well, we can help you change that.
We are going to give you a quick and easy crash course on how to start a conversation with a guy, as well as some easy-to-remember tips on conversation starters that you can use the next time you meet a guy that you really like.
Before we get started, though, you have to be clear on the reasons why you want to talk to this guy in the first place.
What’s the goal?
It’s safe to assume that you like him and want to get to know him better, which could lead to hanging out with him and ultimately going out on a date with him.
Well, if that’s the case, then prepare yourself. If you are able to muster up enough courage and follow the tips we’ve outlined for you on how to start a conversation with a guy, you’ll be on a real date with him in no time.
How to Talk to Men
So, there are three main stages on how to start a conversation with a guy.
- First, you have to approach him and get his attention.
- Second is to keep him interested and keep the conversation going.
- Third is to send just the right signals to let him know that you are interested in him without seeming too forward or desperate.
How to Approach a Man
This is probably the most challenging part.
Once you get over this hurdle, the next stages should be a breeze. The best way to approach the guy is to do it directly and confidently.
With a smile on your face and a friendly manner about you, just walk to him, say hello, and introduce yourself.
Most normal human beings would respond in a similar manner. So there’s a really good chance that he will reply with a smile and an introduction as well.
Best Opening Lines
Naturally, you have to have a few opening lines or topics prepared, because it would be pretty awkward if the conversation stopped right there.
Oftentimes, something simple like, “I’ve seen you here often, and I thought I’d just say hello,” would work quite nicely.
If you’re really stumped, the magazine Seventeen suggests these opening lines you can try the next time you meet a cute guy.
When deciding on a topic of conversation, the most natural thing would be to take your cues from your surroundings.
It may sound cliché to talk about the weather, but it actually is one of the best topics to start a conversation with. It’s a universal topic, it’s neutral, and everyone can relate to it.
If you are commuting on the way to work or wherever, you can always strike up a conversation with the cute guy sitting next to you by remarking about the traffic.
If he replies, then you can follow it up with questions like where is he heading, or does he travel this route a lot, and so on.
3. Damsel in Distress
Even in this day and age, most men are still naturally inclined to come to the rescue of a damsel in distress. Contrary to what many people say, chivalry is definitely not dead, and you can use it to your advantage.
If you are carrying something large and bulky, you can ask him to help. If your hands are occupied and you can’t open a door, you can ask him to open it for you.
Whatever it is, if he obliges, make sure you thank him with pleasant words and a friendly smile.
There is one caveat.
Don’t overuse this technique too often, because there’s also a risk that you might appear frail and dependent, which can be a real turn off for some men.
Say something nice about him, just like that.
Compliments are universally appreciated.
There’s no need to be bashful about it. They may not talk about it, but guys—just like girls—like hearing nice things about themselves.
If you’re unsure where to begin, in an article posted in Mel Magazine writer Tracy Moore explains just how much men like to be complimented and how females can go about it.
The type of compliment would depend on how forward you want to appear. Perfectly safe examples are if you say something nice about his attire, as in maybe you like his shoes.
If you see him on the street or in the park and he is walking a dog, you can say something about how cute his pet is, even if he’s the one you really think is cute.
Most people will naturally answer when a question is posed to them, so this would be a surefire way for how to start a conversation with a guy.
All you have to do is to think of a good question.
Asking the time of day sounds too standard and boring, but that will at least open the door and get the ball rolling.
Tip: try to stay away from yes or no questions that could elicit monosyllabic responses and end the conversation on an awkward note.
By all means, stay away from sensitive topics such as politics, religion, or anything too personal.
There will be plenty of opportunities to talk about those things further down the line if you do get comfortable enough with each other to discuss more serious subject matter.
In the meantime, you can check out some of these safe conversation starters and other light topics suggested by SocialPro.
Things to Talk About with a Guy
Once you’ve managed to start a conversation with a guy, the next step is to keep the conversation going.
Small talk can only take you so far.
If you want to maintain a steady flow of conversation and keep his attention, you need to find something with substance that the two of you can talk about.
Here are a few things that you can try:
- Look for a common interest. This doesn’t have to be something too deep or sensitive. For example, if you realize that you both like basketball, you can steer the conversation toward that topic. Ask him whom his favorite team is and which one he thinks is going to win the championship this season.
- Be attentive and observant. Take hints not only from the things that he says but also from what you can ascertain about him. If you notice he uses a picture of his dog as his wallpaper on his mobile device and you happen to have a dog yourself, you can bring that up. If he’s wearing a Fitbit or some other athletic-tracking device, then he’s probably into exercise as well. Once you have established a common interest, the conversation will flow naturally from there. Not only that, but he should also be quite pleased to have found someone with whom he shares an interest with as well.
What Do Guys Like to Talk About
During the initial conversation, it is important to ask him questions that can open opportunities for more back and forth between the two of you.
Again, steer away from yes or no questions because these can turn out to be dead ends with an otherwise promising chat turning into an uncomfortable interview.
Instead, ask questions that have no single answer. This will give him the freedom to talk about whatever he wants and encourage him to ask questions of you as well. Remember, how to start a conversation with a guy doesn’t have to be complicated.
It is vital that you appear to listen attentively during your chat, even if the conversation is short and casual. In any relationship, even those that are still in the beginning stages, attentive listening is an important skill that you should learn.
Here are some more tips for you to use:
- Look genuinely interested.
- If you feel that he is not particularly interested in a particular topic, by all means change it.
- During his time at the mic, so to speak, show signs that you are paying attention through indicators like smiling and nodding at the proper intervals. Listening attentively actually serves several purposes: it makes you look good in his eyes, it allows you to learn a few things about him, and it gives you time to figure out, based on his input, whether you really are interested in pursuing him.
- Use his name periodically throughout your verbal exchange. This is actually an old trick used by sales people and other professionals for swaying people, and it works. Using this personal approach also has the added benefit of allowing you to remember your new acquaintance’s name more easily.
Drop the Mic
When the conversation is flowing well, like after a good laugh at a funny joke one of you just cracked, or after a particularly entertaining story, you should cut the conversation short.
Apologize and tell him you have to go because you should get back to work, or you’re meeting a friend or something. Say that you really enjoyed talking to him, and mention his name again for a personal touch, but try and bow out on a high note.
If you feel that there has been a really good connection, you can venture an invitation for coffee sometime, or something that is similarly light and casual.
If he asks for your number, by all means, give it to him. In fact, if you are feeling especially confident, it is perfectly fine to jot your number down or give him your business card with the casual invitation to text you sometime.
Making a Good Impression
It’s been said that first impressions are everything, and it’s true.
This is why it is imperative that you make a really good impression from the moment you say hello until the end of the conversation.
While you are thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy, you should also be thinking about how to leave him with a good lasting impression so that by the end of your dialogue he will be just as interested in you as you are in him, possibly even more so.
How to Talk to a Guy You Like
They say that the best accessory a girl can wear is a smile. We touched on this previously, but it’s true. A simple smile can make you infinitely more beautiful than if you have a frown on your face, or if you don’t show any expression at all.
From the moment you approach him, make sure you have a warm and friendly smile for him.
Furthermore, laughing at his jokes can also work wonders on improving the ease of your conversation. He’ll feel more confident, and you’ll come across as more attractive to him in the process, so everybody wins.
One of the best ways to show him that you are genuinely interested in what he has to say is to make and maintain eye contact.
This doesn’t mean taking part in an uncomfortable staring contest that could easily be interpreted as creepy, but good eye contact shows sincerity and honesty.
According to experts, eye contact is vital in building strong relationships with people.
You don’t have to look him straight in the eyes the entire time.
It can come off as crazy rather than interested, but constantly shifting your gaze to external sources can make it appear as if (A) you’re not very interested, (B) that you are incredibly nervous (which might be true), or (C) that you have the attention span of a gnat—none of which is good.
Unless he was born yesterday, he already has an inkling that you like him.
Seriously, why would you have approached him otherwise?
But it’s ill advised to say anything direct or explicit in order to prove the point. Of course you like him, but be subtle about it. Consider these dos and don’ts:
- Don’t make him feel uncomfortable by acting like a star-struck fan when interacting with him.
- Don’t be too eager to please him or shower him with too much praise or attention.
- Keep some level of vagueness so that he is not exactly sure if you really like him or if you are just being polite.
An air of mystery and lack of desperation will go a long way towards furthering your cause.
Attention to Detail
Let’s face it. Guys are superficial and are primarily attracted to girls who have put some effort into their presentation. That doesn’t mean you have to slather on the makeup with a trowel or trot out in the latest designer fashions.
It just means that you might want to pay a little attention to your appearance before you approach a man you’re interested in, because walking up to him looking like something the cat dragged in will reduce the chances of leaving him with a positive impression.
As cliché as it sounds first impressions are everything, and you never get a second chance at creating another one.
Before you take the plunge in your quest for how to start a conversation with a guy, consider these suggestions:
- Do a quick mirror check.
- Make sure you have nothing in your teeth.
- Give your hair a quick brushing.
- Maybe put on some lip gloss.
- Make sure you and your breath smell fresh.
If you try to make it a habit to always look at least halfway decent whenever you go out, even if it’s just for a quick trip to the supermarket, you’ll never get caught with your pants down in public (let’s hope not).
You never know when you’re going to meet a nice guy, so it’s helpful to be prepared for the moment.
Make Your Move
We’re not talking about PDAs, that would definitely send the wrong message, but males do respond positively to subtle physical contact by females.
A simple gesture like touching his arm lightly with your hand while talking with him will send a flutter through his nervous system.
In his view, it’s an indication that you like him—which is always a good sign—and you don’t have to say a single word in order to express it.
Just don’t go overboard, even if you feel the chemistry (and temperature) quickly rising.
You do not want to send the wrong signals right out of the gate and waste a perfectly good opportunity to meet a nice guy. There’s plenty of time for messing up later.
How to Talk to a Guy
When it comes right down to it, the trick to how to start a conversation with a guy is to feel comfortable with yourself and to not let your nerves control you. Keep things in perspective.
Keep it real, and try to play it cool.
If it doesn’t pan out, chances are he wasn’t the guy for you in the first place.