Do you know how to tell if a partner is cheating? Can you spot the signs? If not, you need to read the following information to stay informed on this topic. After all, it is hard to be objective if someone who you believe and trust is being deceptive. Nevertheless, if things don’t seem quite right, you should learn how to stay on top of any miscommunications along these lines.
Some of the Signs Are Not that Obvious
If you want to learn how to tell if a partner is cheating, you need to refer to the works of infidelity experts and private investigators. According to professionals in the relationship field, some warnings are easy to miss, or not take seriously. For example, you may not think anything of the following:
- You partner is overly-attentive.
- He or she has unexplained mood changes.
- Some of you partner’s preferences have noticeably changed.
- Some of your habits, which once annoyed your partner, don’t seem to affect him or her anymore.
- He or she pays more attention to their grooming.
Pay Attention to Your Gut Feelings
According to private investigators (PIs), one of the most important things you need to note is your own intuition. That is the key trigger that will help you find out and check your partner’s innocence or guilt.
Getting Expert Advice
Most investigators, who check on cheaters, often see recurring identical signs. One private investigator, who runs an investigative company in Newport Beach, California, lists some of the most telling clues in his book, Seeing Life through Private Eyes. The author, Thomas G. Martin, states that spotting one or two signs may not give you a cause to worry. However, if you notice four or more signs, you may as well consider your partner guilty.
Some of the Obvious Clues
According to Martin, the most common, if not apparent signs, include –
- Spending extra time at work
- Taking more business trips
- Behaving more defensively
- Losing interest in sex
If you partner suddenly starts working out at the gym or buys a lot of new clothes, that may indicate he or she is bettering themselves for someone else. Again, you don’t necessarily have to worry if your partner displays one or two changes. However, you need to speak to a private investigator if cheating seems to be a prevailing reason for a partner’s behavioral change.
What PIs Note
Stick to following your intuition if you want to determine your partner’s fidelity. The following list is what privative investigators check on to confirm their clients’ suspicions.
How to Tell if a Partner is Cheating – According to Private Eyes
- A change in habits
- Leaving the house or apartment earlier and returning home later.
- Extra business trips.
- Absences from family or holiday gatherings.
- Working additional overtime.
- Unexplained bills and spending.
- Secret social media or email accounts.
- Hidden credit card bills and charges.
- Additional attention to grooming.
- Lipstick on a collar or an unfamiliar scent.
- The purchase of gifts you have not seen.
- Unexplained items – finding lingerie or condoms in the car, for instance.
- Getting a gym membership.
- Missed phone calls – from an unrecognized number.
- Coded texts.
- Defensiveness or an evasive attitude.
- Obvious lying.
- A short temper or an irritated state of mind.
- His or her hating your unexpected visit.
Even if a partner is not displaying one of the above signs, your feelings may still be picking up something is not quite right. Many people do not need to contact a PI, given today’s emphasis on technology. While the signs of cheating may remain the same, catching a cheater is different today.
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Confirm Any Feelings of Doubt with a PI
In some cases, you may only need to pick up a smartphone and do some checking or log into a social medical account. However, private investigators warn not to jump to conclusions. If your significant other sneaks away to take a phone call and you accuse him or her of having an affair, you may jeopardize your relationship. If you have any sort of inkling of cheating, you should see if any other signs exist. If so, talk to a private investigator first to confirm any feelings of doubt.
How to Gauge Your Partner’s Behavior
To better understand how to tell if a partner is cheating, you need to review behavioral changes in clusters. For example, the following information elaborates further on how cheaters usually respond and act.
1. Behavioral Changes
Some people go through behavioral changes and are not cheating at all. Something else may be going on in their lives. However, cheaters are more likely to behave, as follows, when you notice modifications in their personality.
- He or she make not be as forgiving toward you as he or she was in the past.
- The partner who is cheating may not talk as much.
- A cheater is typically excessively apologetic.
- Your cheating partner may exclude you from certain social events.
- Cheating partners may go out by themselves.
- A cheater often refuses to account for his or her whereabouts.
2. Spending Less Time with You
Because a cheating partner needs to spend more time with his or her love interest, he or she may do the following:
- Spend longer hours at “work”
- Get involved less in gatherings with family and friends
- Take more trips related to his or her work
- Engage in more weekend activities
3. A Revived Interest in Living
If a cheating partner finds his or her life has gone stale, they may view their new relationship interest as a source of inspiration. This inspiration can extend to the following behaviors:
- Going to a gym regularly to work out
- Buying new clothing and fashionable accessories
- Showing an interest in new activities
- Abandoning activities with you to go to another engagement
- Dieting and making efforts to lose weight
- Showing a more confident demeanor
4. Changes in Spending and Saving
A cheating partner normally spends his or her money differently when he or she has an outside love interest. Therefore, you might notice the following clues:
- He or she acts more private about his or her spending or saving.
- The cheater’s bank balance simply does not “balance” or make sense.
- He or she may establish a new pattern of withdrawals.
- The cheater often spends additional money on their lifestyle or looks.
5. Explanations that Sound Confused or Too Elaborate
If you confront a partner who is cheating, he or she will explain his or her behavior by either being too detailed or using blanket rules. Blanket rules typically take the form of the following:
- I have a lot more demands with this new work responsibility.
- I totally stressed out from work.
- Sorry, I am handling a new project.
If the cheater is shrewder, he or she will add details to his or her explanation.
One thing you should note – If your partner once shared stories about his or her work or a certain person at work, but it does not do so anymore, that is another sign of relationship trouble.
6. More Demands for Privacy
A good sign of betrayal concerns the suspected cheater’s privacy. Here are some big clues:
- Locking the door and checking it.
- Going outside to take a call on his or her smartphone.
- Clearing the browsing history on their computer.
- Putting a password on his or her phone, and concealing it from you.
- Stashing away his or her phone when you look their way.
- Getting nervous if you get close to them while they sit at the computer.
7. Random Changes in Behavior
Random changes in behavior can affect the warmth and tenderness in your relationship or the number of times you hear the words, “I love you.” These changes can also lead to increased arguing or take the form of irritability, contempt, criticism, and meanness.
One thing to keep in mind – In some cases, a partner may overcompensate for his or her mean behavior by being extra kind. This usually happens when he or she wants to preserve their relationship while seeing someone else. If he or she is emotionally involved in an affair, the cheater will usually pick more fights.
How to Tell If a Partner Is Cheating – Major Red Flags
Sometimes you really do not need your intuition to tell you something is very wrong. The following signs are blaring signs – as obvious as neon:
- He or she proposes you see other people.
- He or she is no longer interested in a monogamous relationship.
- Your partner actively avoids talking about certain groups or people you both know.
- The cheater will not answer you if you ask if he or she is unfaithful.
- Your partner erroneously refers to you by another name.
- Your partner starts turning down more dates.
- Friends tell you that they frequently see your partner with someone else.
- Your partner forgets special dates or anniversaries.
- You get an STD (sexually transmitted disease) you never had.
The Monogamous Cheater
If you partner is the monogamous type, he or she will start to withdraw emotionally. You will have sex less and notice that he or she is less affectionate. The monogamous cheater stops staying “I Love You,” and often acts irritable. This type of cheater has a secret desire to get caught.
Preventing Future Cheating
Now that you know how to tell if a partner is cheating, you can learn how to prevent cheating in the future. By knowing how cheating develops, you can take certain precautionary measures.
Usually, cheating begins as a friendship – one where two people interact daily, such as in the workplace. First, a mutual liking develops. Both people talk and find out they have a common interest. Then they share confidences. This is when an emotional affair unfolds.
How to Resist Temptation
To prevent cheating from happening, you need to follow certain rules, such as the following:
Do not talk about your Relationship with Someone who Could take Your Partner’s Place
If you do not know the person as a close friend or family member, you should not share any current relationship problems with them.
Speak to a Friend as a Couple about His or Her Relationship
When you speak to a friend with relationship difficulties, speak to him or her as a couple.
Why Cheating Happens – One Expert’s Conclusion
One infidelity expert, Frank Pittman, says that the selection of a partner in an affair is not about his or her attractiveness or superiority. Rather, the person who falls for an affair partner notes that he or she is different from their current partner.
You can learn more about this thinking by reading Pittman’s book, Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy. While this book covers infidelity in marriages, it still helps you in develop a better relationship with a partner outside of marriage.
Form a United Alliance
If you want to form a strong bond, you need to make sure you have each other’s back as a couple. When you don’t have this type of alliance, it makes it easier for others to separate you.
Stay Away from Former Partners
Once a relationship ends, it should be over. You do not want to revisit the past – thinking it will be better this time with a former partner. This type of quest if foolish. You need to work on your current relationship, not escape to the past to fill a nostalgic void.
Avoid Sticky Circumstances
While attractions are normal, you don’t want to use these feelings to develop the wrong mindset. Many affairs begin in the mind before they actually take place in real life. Don’t flirt with someone to whom you feel attracted. It sends him or her a signal that you are available.
Again, attraction is normal. However, you don’t want to act on it, nor do you want to fantasize an affair. Don’t flirt with the other person, or risk spending any time alone with him or her.
According to relationship experts, people stop dating or break up when their expectations and previous experiences do not add up to a greater feeling of happiness now. When they find a seemingly better alternative, they end up cheating, especially during the first relationship phase, or the infatuation period.
Hold Your Partner in High Esteem
The chance of cheating increases when a partner in a relationship does not regard the other partner in high esteem when he or she is not there. Therefore, to keep from cheating, partners in a relationship need to know how to build a bond when the “butterflies in the stomach,” or infatuation phase is over.
This can only be done when you build feelings of fondness, appreciation, and admiration. Write down a list of adjectives, and choose three of them. Think about three incidences when you partner exhibited these traits. Make it a habit to share your discoveries with your partner.
Describing Your Partner
For instance, some of the traits you might list include the following:
- Easy going
- Relaxed under pressure
When you take this approach, even a worn-down relationship can become revived with a little work.
How a Relationship Goes Stale
Affairs tend to take people away from responsibilities – relationship responsibilities that can lack the glamor of what you feel when you first experience love. However, if you know this, you can make what you already have in a relationship even stronger.
If you feel suspicious about your partner’s behavior and find he or she is cheating, it may be too late to do anything about his or her infidelity. However, you can create a shared meaning to future relationships by learning how to be a couple.
Sharing Common Interests
Shared meaning is all about sharing common insights and venues. Cheating does not become as tempting when a couple can be each other’s best friend, or share the following:
- Inside jokes
- Daily tasks
- Anniversaries and special times
- Certain foods
- Secrets – only known to both of you
- Each other’s dreams and passions
Creating Magic – How to Do It
When you have this type of bond, you create magic in a relationship – the type of magic that permits you to stay together – usually forever.
How You Can Add a Shared Meaning to Your Life
Get into the habit of –
- Cuddling before your fall asleep
- Planning special movie nights
- Doing some chores together
- Exercising together
- Hugging each other when you arrive home
- Taking a break whenever you disagree
- Booking your vacations together
This also means that you need to learn how to diffuse an argument or encourage better communications. To support your partner, you need to listen to him or her without criticism as well as take an active part in some of their goals and activities.
For example, you may not consider yourself a runner. However, you could go with your partner each week for half the distance and wait for them at a local yogurt or ice cream shop.
Focus on the Issues
When you do have differences, never complain about your partner’s personal traits but focus on the issues. State how you feel – do not emphasize your partner’s poor behavior. Describe the situation without judging. Make sure you understand what happened before trying to be understood.
Knowing how to handle any conflict in a relationship will build a successful relationship – one where cheating will not become a problem. However, this type of goal is only attainable when it becomes part of a larger strategy – one that includes positivity, appreciation, and emotional harmony.
In Conclusion –
What do you think? Is your partner cheating? Could it have been prevented? Do you know how to tell if a partner is cheating? Do you believe the above information can help you fix your relationship now?