Before you worry about what to talk to a girl about, you first need to know how to start up a conversation with a girl.
Once the conversation gets started, it becomes easier to chat. Usually, men are too afraid to approach a woman, possibly out of the fear of rejection. Once you get over this initial nervousness, you will be able to start up a conversation.
Keep it clean
Do not catcall or make rude comments when trying to get her attention. You need to start with something that gets her attention, making her want to continue talking to you.
If you never get over the initial hurdle of getting a conversation started, you won’t have to wonder what to talk to a girl about as there won’t be a conversation at all. You may spend the rest of your life wondering if your life would’ve been different if you had gone over and said hello.
Start off by walking slowly and confidently. Take notice of your surroundings. Stand where you can be seen instead of hiding in the shadows. Don’t stand there scanning the crowd or the ladies at the bar as this can come across as creepy.
Once you notice a lady that you would like to chat with, you have to learn to harness your fears. You need to acknowledge the fear and accept that it is completely normal. Then you need to overcome the fear. Walk over to the girl and say hello.
Do not hesitate as you will talk yourself out of approaching her and it will eventually become almost impossible for you to walk over and greet her. As soon as you spot the woman you want to talk to, walk confidently over to her. If you are hesitant, you might want to work on some greetings ahead of time in order to start up the conversation.
Keep it simple
Try a simple greeting such as “Hi, how are you? My name is__________”. This may seem obvious, but it is a confident greeting. It opens the way for her to answer you, starting a conversation.
Another good approach which works with most people, although not everyone is to walk over and say that you noticed them and find them attractive and that is why you felt you had to come and meet them.
When you then introduce yourself, be in tune with her to see if the lady is receptive to your charms. If she is not, nothing is lost, simply tell her with kindness you hope she has a nice day and exit stage left.
Take cues from the environment
Another easy conversation starter is to find something in the environment you are in to in order to open a conversation.
Something along the lines of “It seems so loud in here, don’t you think so?” or “Wow, those roses are amazing, do you know where the host got them from?”. Anything will do really, just form your greeting as a question in order to start up the conversation.
Get it started
The worst part of a conversation is getting it started. Once you have her attention and she is starting to respond to you, the awkwardness should start becoming less and the conversation more comfortable.
You have to try and keep the conversation going for at least 30 seconds. After that, things will settle down in your head and you will start feeling less nervous. The chat should get easier after that.
Research shows that men and women talk about different things generally, so you need to keep her interested. Now you have started the conversation you need to know what to talk to a girl about.
Some of the best ways to keep the conversation going is to talk about the situation and environment where you happen to meet. Don’t walk up to a girl in a dress shop and ask if she likes ham. That is likely to get a weird look and her moving off in the opposite direction as quickly as possible.
Here are some researched ideas to keep the conversation flowing:
Make a recommendation about something you see her looking at. If she seems undecided about something, make a comment about which you prefer and why. You can perhaps talk about what you have in common if she is an acquaintance.
If she attends the same school or gym as you, you can chat about that. Invite her to help you with something you may be working on such as a project or charity event. Ask her for a small favor such as to hold your place in line or pass you something off the shelf if you meet in the supermarket.
Try asking her to watch your drink as you go to the bathroom. You are letting her know you think her generous and trustworthy, which can lead to her being more curious about you
Pay her compliments but don’t go overboard or get too personal. Compliment an achievement you know she has made or say she has a lovely smile. The compliment must be genuine and heartfelt. Fake compliments are obvious.
Ask open-ended questions. Questions that can be answered with yes and no are not great to keep a conversation going. You want to ask questions that make her actually talk to you and give you some insight into who she is.
Don’t ask “Do you like dogs?”, rather ask her “Do you have any pets at home and if so, what do you have?” or something along those lines. Make sure you hold up your end of the conversation by telling her a bit about yourself as well.
When she answers your questions, you can follow up with your perspective on the subject before you ask the next question. If she asks you a question, answer this first before embarking on your next question. A conversation needs to be give and take.
What Does She Like?
Find out what she likes and is passionate about. People generally love to talk about the things that they love or enjoy.
This is a great way to get to know her while keeping the conversation going. Your interest also has to be genuine when you are asking about things that are important to her. She will sense if you’re are faking it.
Some ideas of what to talk to a girl about to make you look good too:
- Chat to her about your passions. As per studies, you bring a special energy to a conversation when you can talk positively about a subject. Remember though, your passion and hers may be very diverse, so unless she encourages it, do not go on for ages about the subject.
- Don’t make the conversation all about you. Show her that you are genuinely interested by getting her to respond to pointed questions. Allow her time to ask questions and get some insights into who you are as well.
- Don’t talk about things you don’t know anything about. Don’t try to have a passionate discussion about fly fishing when you’ve only ever swatted a house fly. You want her to find you interesting and attractive and hopefully of reasonable intelligence. Offering opinions when you do not have a clue will not endear you to anyone.
Stress about a lull in the conversation?
According to research, you shouldn’t stress about a lull in the conversation. Pauses will happen. Keep the conversation between you comfortable and don’t make it awkward by blurting out anything just to fill the silence. This is what you can do in the pauses:
Smile at her. Look around the room. Take a sip of your drink. Act confident and relaxed while you think of something else to talk about. Don’t turn away or look down at your feet. Stay alert and interested.
Don’t Lose Her Attention
If you make things uncomfortable, you may lose her attention. Deliberately leave small pauses in the conversation. She will get used to this and know that the conversation will be resuming shortly. That way if you do run out of things to say, it will be less strange while you think of your next topic.
Talk slower. Be confident but slow your rate of speech. This will affect her too and she will automatically slow her speech as well. Your conversations will take a little longer.
You will have more time to think of what to say to keep the chat going. Small pauses may also inspire her to ask you questions if she is interested in you. This will also help you judge how much she would like to keep the conversation going as well.
What to talk to a girl about?
Stay away from controversial subjects. As research shows you should avoid topics that tend to make people uncomfortable. Do not gossip about other people as you may come across as petty or mean. Don’t tell dirty jokes or tell stories that are X-rated.
If you don’t know her, this will more than likely be a big turn-off and a conversation killer. Show you have a sense of humor. Tell interesting stories that have funny aspects in them.
If you have to tell jokes, make them clean and genuinely funny. The best way to make her laugh is to tell a humorous story about something that happened in your life.
Good Topics to Discuss
Talk about interesting things going on in the news, music, movies and so forth. Keep it light and entertaining. You may also find you enjoy the same forms of entertainment.
Arts and culture are always great topics of conversation. Ask her about her hobbies and you can always tell her a little bit about yours. People are often more than willing to chat about the things they like to do in their spare time.
Find out what her goals and aspirations are. This can give you a lot of insight into who she is and where she is going in life. This can help you decide if she is the one you really want to get to know better, or not. It is best not to broach the topics of religion or politics too soon.
Family is generally a safe topic of conversation. Ask her about hers and you can always give her some insight into yours. Ask about her day. This works well as a conversation starter as well as a way to keep the conversation going. People enjoy being able to vent or simply talk about something that is still fresh in their minds.
While wondering what to talk to a girl about, research shows that body language is also a really good indicator as to how the conversation is going and not just the words that you hear. Watch if she makes eye contact with you, this shows interest.
Light touches on your hand, arm or shoulder or leaning towards you when you are talking is a good indication that you intrigue her. Watch your own body language. Make eye contact, smile and sit up straight to project confidence and interest in her as a person.
Don’t turn your body away from her, don’t tap your feet or fingers. Avoid crossing your arms. These show irritation or closing yourself off from her. Avoid yawning, sighing or groaning while chatting as this is a clear indication of a lack of interest or even irritation.
Watch for Important Queues
If she fiddles with her phone, her jewelry or something else or is looking around the room while you are talking, she is not interested and is looking to escape. You can try to recapture her attention by a more pointed question if you hope to keep the conversation flowing.
If you find that it is not worthwhile to work at the conversation, this would be a good time to thank her for the conversation and simply walk away.
Keep the conversation and attention focused on her
When deciding what to talk to a girl about, remember that most people love to talk about themselves. Keep some questions ready to gain more insight into the lovely lady you have chosen to talk to.
In this situation, don’t allow yourself to be distracted or your focus removed from getting to know her better. Turn your phone off or at least to silent. Do not take calls or answer texts while you are talking to her. This shows a lack of respect and will cause you to lose her interest fairly quickly as well.
Don’t take your attention off her.
If your friends come over while you are chatting, introduce her to them, but stay focused on her. Do not get caught up with chatting with your friends. Research shows that this will alienate her fairly quickly especially if she is unable to join in the conversation. Hopefully, your friends will get the message and give you some time to get to know the lady better.
What if she says she has to leave?
Either you or she will more than likely have to leave at some point in the conversation. If it is right at the beginning, she is probably not that interested in you and it is best to just let her walk away.
If you have been chatting for some time and the conversation has been interesting, you may want to chat with her again. Tell her that you enjoyed the conversation and would really like to continue the chat at a later point. If she seems interested, this is a good time to ask for her phone number.
What happens next?
Send her a text the next day telling her that you enjoy the conversation the previous evening and look forward to getting to know her better. She may text back, allowing you to rekindle the conversation straight away.
Wait until the next day to give her a call as you don’t want to appear too pushy or desperate. In the first phone call, you don’t need to have a long, involved conversation. Simply say hello, ask her how she is doing. Ask her if she would like to meet with you sometime for coffee and a chat or something similar.
Ask her out
You could also invite her on an outing or to the movies if you prefer. She will let you know if she is interested in getting to know you better at this point. Face to face conversation is a lot better than text or phone calls as you can read nuances and body language in person that are not available through a phone.
Don’t be pushy and don’t try and force her into accepting an invitation if she seems genuinely uninterested. If she hints at interest but wants to delay the meeting that is fine too. Calls and texts are okay to get more information and perhaps build some trust. However, face to face is the best way to get to know someone better.
Practice makes perfect
Over time you will get better and you will know what to talk to a girl about in almost any social situation to get the ball rolling. You have to get over the initial fears and butterflies and that will take practice.
As with anything in life, you improve the more you practice. You will face rejection sometimes, but you will also achieve successes. You won’t achieve any success at all if you don’t try.
Keep your attention focused on her, avoid gossiping or making comments about other people. Keep it friendly but try and get deeper into what makes her tick so you don’t stay “friend-zoned”. Be yourself as far as possible.
Don’t tell stories to try and make yourself look better that can backfire later when she finds out the truth. Remember to keep the conversation balanced. Spend a little more time talking about her than focused on you, but do share.
Improve your confidence by chewing gum, eating a breath mint or using a breath freshening spray before you go over and chat to her. You don’t want to be worried about your breath when you start up a conversation.
Avoid looking below her face when you are talking to her. If you focus on other body parts, she will notice and that will make your conversation fall flat very quickly.
Finally, when wondering what to talk to a girl about, remember that she is a person too. She is probably a little nervous about chatting to a stranger as well. Keep it fun and comfortable and you may find the love of your life.