Being tongue-tied isn’t exclusive to verbal speech. Figuratively, it can apply to written communications as well, such as letter writing, emails, and texting. It’s a common problem many people face.
Professionals can turn to scribes for help, but stringing a coherent sentence can be difficult for those of us without an expert by our side.
This can be especially true for individuals trying to express themselves to members of the opposite sex. You know what you want to convey, but the words just aren’t there. When it comes to what to text a girl, it’s a conundrum a lot of guys find highly problematic.
If you can relate, take heart, because it doesn’t have to be that daunting.
Yes, texting, emailing, or anything that has to do with instant messaging can be tricky because they come with additional challenges, but there are ways to get around them. We’ll briefly address that issue first.
How to Text Girls
Before you decide what to say in your written transmission, remember that regardless of how innocent you might intend your words to sound, without eye contact and other readable signs such as inflection and body language, your message can easily be misconstrued.
That’s why it’s vital to phrase your thoughts carefully and consider using expressions like “lol” (laugh out loud) or emojis to help get your true meaning across.
As guys, you’re not as inclined to use these frivolities as your female counterparts, but the addition of them can spare you a lot of ruffled feathers in the long run if they’re used correctly.
A quick example is someone with a biting sense of humor might write, “I don’t think that’s funny at all” in reply to a text they’ve received from a friend concerning the firing of a particularly detested co-worker.
Without using some sort of symbolism to denote that they were being facetious in their response, anyone else who read the text probably wouldn’t get it.
The takeaway for them would be that the author of the text did not find humor in the situation when, in fact, he/she did. A winking emoji would have told the entire story to the uninformed.
The point is if you’re texting with girls that don’t know you very well, tread carefully until they do. That way, you’ll avoid any mixed messages or crossed wires that could lead to trouble.
How to Start a Text Conversation with a Girl
What to text a girl really depends on how well you know her and what your motives are. Assuming you’re interested in her if you’ve recently met, start with something casual and announce who you are at the start.
This shows you’re not taking anything for granted. Once you’ve established a texting relationship, you can skip the formalities because it’s clear you’re who you are.
Here are five other tips to bear in mind:
- Be Positive — Negativity is a downer people don’t respond well to. Always be positive when texting a girl you’re trying to get to know.
- Stay in Step — Take cues from the rhythm and style of their texts and try to match their overall feel. This can create a comfortable familiarity that’s priceless.
- Grammar — No one expects you to be an editing guru, but maintaining some semblance of proper spelling and grammar shows that you’re not an illiterate oaf that can be introduced to family and friends.
- Keep it Light — It’s likely early days for the two of you, so keep it light—at least initially. Again, mirroring her texting style can take a lot of pressure off of you.
- Wrap it Up — Always try to end your conversation on a high note and don’t feel the need to get the last text in.
What to Text a Girl You Like
You met her, you got her phone number, and now it’s time to text her.
There is a myriad of things you can open with, but a casual, “Hello, it’s fill in the blank,” followed by something like, “I’m glad we finally got a chance to talk yesterday, and I’m looking forward to meeting you for coffee tomorrow. If you’re up for it, we can check out that museum you mentioned as well. See you at 2:00.”
It’s casual, it’s light, and it doesn’t come across as needy or pushy.
You’re simply confirming your plans and re-enforcing the fact you’re interested, and you enjoyed her company, and are looking forward to more of it. Once you get the ball rolling the conversation will come easier for you both.
In the meantime, until you get the hang of it, you can always try these ideas for what to text a girl:
1. Call Back Humor
If the two of you shared a joke or laughed over an amusing story, you can always use it as an icebreaker in an initial text to remind her of the good feelings you recently shared.
Triggering a warm memory should elicit a smile and the desire to meet again.
2. Quality Points
Let her know you admire her for a specific action or trait. This conveys that you’re interested in her on a deeper level and that your powers of observation are good.
You could say, “BTW, I really admired how you fill in the blank. You handled it much better than I probably would have.”
She’s flattered and impressed that you noticed, and you don’t come off sounding like a total fanny kisser in the process. It’s a win-win
3. Taking Note
Be careful with this, but if you were actually paying attention to any of the things she said before you got her number, you may be able to use them in upcoming texts.
It might go along the lines of, “BTW, I saw that commercial you were talking about last night, and I agree it’s hysterical.
The only thing missing was an ooga horn and a chimp, lol!” Don’t overplay it and send them out of nowhere, or you risk looking desperate or eccentric.
4. Simmer Down
Unless you met at a rave or a beer-chugging contest on Spring Break, you don’t want to come across as too wild or debauched until you know her better.
Keep the language clean and the references to partying and sex out of the dialogue for now.
5. Be Helpful, Not Needy
You happen to know she’s been looking for a fill in the blank, and you saw or know of one.
Sending a brief message pointing her in the right direction comes across as thoughtful and being a good listener, both of which are highly attractive qualities in a man as far as women are concerned.
Again, don’t go overboard and end up looking clingy, or she might ultimately block you.
Funny Things to Text a Girl
When it comes to attractive qualities in men, as far as women are concerned, humor is rated as one of the highest. If you’re funny by nature, let it show.
Just make sure your sense of humor compares favorably with hers. Whether it’s dark, quirky, sarcastic, self-deprecating, etc., confirm that you’re on the same page before introducing it.
For a little comic relief, here are some funny things to text a girl:
- “Are you kidding me? You could make the Caped Crusader rent an apartment and give up his bat cave! (smiling or laughing emoji)”
- “Are we still going out tonight, or do I have to lie to my diary? (crying emoji)”
- “If at any time my startling good looks and mind-blowing talents begin to overwhelm you, let me know, and I’ll try to take it down a notch. (winking or exploding emoji)”
- “Old ladies and dogs find me irresistible. (blushing, smiling, or laughing emoji)”
- “I just got a haircut and a new suit, so try not to throw yourself at me when I get there. (smiling emoji)”
Remember, the point is to be funny, not overly corny or cheesy, which will make you look sooooo lame in her eyes. It’s a fine line, but with a little practice, you can master it.
Ask your female friends, co-workers, or relatives for input and feedback if you’re unsure. The use of emojis will make it clear you’re joking or trying to at least.
Ultimately, she may view your attempts as feeble, but at least she won’t mistake them as sincere or egoism.
Questions to Ask a Girl Over Text
Texting a girl questions when you’re trying to get to know her better should remain clean.
There are lots of topical points you can cover, like her tastes in music or movies. Food is another safe subject when dating. Just keep your mind out of the gutter until you know where you stand.
Nothing says frat boy creep factor quicker than a guy you barely know making highly inappropriate comments right out of the gate.
Here are some ideas for good questions on what to text a girl that won’t get you shot on sight:
- What makes you laugh?
- Where’s your most favorite place on the planet?
- What’s your favorite way to spend a Sunday?
- Do you like to dance? (assuming you do)
- If you could do anything, what would it be?
- What’s your favorite thing to do on a snowy/rainy day?
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- As a kid, what were your favorite TV shows growing up?
- Do you like pets? (again, assuming you do)
- If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
- Are you an indoor or outdoor girl?
- Mountains or beach, which are you drawn to?
- What’s your favorite art form?
- Do you have a favorite movie genre?
- What do you do in your downtime?
- Are you attracted to men old ladies and dogs find irresistible?
You get the idea, but these are all perfectly safe subjects that don’t imply or assume anything on your part. You’re merely posing honest questions that will help you to get to know her better, and the two of you will bond to a certain extent in the process.
Sharing experiences and opening up is an excellent way to gain familiarity with a person. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are hundreds of questions to ask a girl over text. It’s not complicated, so don’t overthink it.
Tip: As a bonus question, you might want to ask her what her favorite flower is. The answer could come in handy later.
What Not to Text a Girl
The list for what not to text a girl is almost as long as the list for what to text a girl.
Again, it’s really pretty simple.
Just use your common sense, and when in doubt, ask a trusted friend, colleague, family member, or mentor. Your peers, as long as they’re not Bill and Ted, can help you screen your material beforehand.
These next examples are all a given (or should be), but just to be clear what not to text, we’ll go over them here:
1. D!@k Pix
All right. Let there be no mistake about this: there will almost never be a time when sending a picture of your genitalia to a woman whose phone number you just got will ever be okay, much less a good idea.
Too many unsuspecting women have opened a text while a waiter reaches over their shoulder with a hot dish in hand just as the file opens up to the boom-chicka wow-wow of someone’s junk.
Worse yet? Their parent or boss walks in.
Besides the first- and second-degree burns and the searing humiliation, she will likely have broken her cellphone as she flung it as far away from herself as humanly possible—here’s where that superpower would come in handy, too…
2. Say What?
Ethnic or racial humor is not going to win you any fans unless she’s a member of the KKK, so stow it.
3. Off-Color Humor
Raunchy jokes are off the table as well. The relationship’s too new at this point.
4. Drunk Texting
These kinds of texts are really annoying and send an unwelcome message: you have a drinking problem.
5. Diabetic Overload
Overly sweet or sappy messages are usually a turnoff unless you’re dealing with a shut-in whose auto tuner is set to the Hallmark/Lifetime/Oxygen channel—take your pick—or addicted to images of Taylor Swift’s kittens.
6. Tick Tock
If you don’t receive a response right away, don’t start blowing up her phone with “Where are you?!?!?!” messages.
This is extra annoying and demonstrates a level of neediness and possibly even stalking no woman will appreciate.
What to text a girl who hasn’t texted you back yet is nothing!
7. What Are You Wearing?
All right, Hef, let it go. Whether it’s meant to be sexy, funny, or playful, don’t be that guy.
8. Respect Her Privacy
Don’t text her in the middle of the night when she’s sleeping or otherwise predisposed. This is a level of familiarity you haven’t gained yet, so don’t cross the line.
9. Be a Man
Avoid being whiny when texting a girl you don’t know very well. Nobody likes a 185-pound baby in a 5’11’ frame. She’s not your mommy—at least not yet.
10. Digging Deep
Take a hint and don’t dig too deep when asking questions. It’s not an interrogation, and you don’t want to come off as pushy.
11. Getting Personal
Along the same lines, getting too personal in the early stages of a friendship/romance is never appreciated. It’s also one of the quickest ways to get her to clam up.
12. Getting Ahead of Yourself
Making plans for the distant future can scare the pants off of someone who doesn’t know you well. Unless you’re trying to star in your own version of “How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days,” you’re making a big mistake.
What to Text a Girl
So there you have it. We’ve given you a solid foundation for the dos and don’ts of texting with women that should serve you well in your quest for love.
If you take our advice and apply it practically, there’s no reason you can’t pull this off. Just remember to mirror her tone and try and refrain from saying or doing anything stupid until you can win her over.
As a final note, if your efforts don’t pan out, don’t lose hope. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, and on dating apps as well. Sooner or later you’re bound to find your match.
Until then, practice makes perfect, so give it all you’ve got.